POLITICS: The dice roll, let them land where they will
Slough rears its head
Three more lucky devils are in place ready to make a pointless sacrifice. In St Albans, Anne Main has prospered. She is the eighth woman to be selected (the same seats produced four women Tory candidates in 2001). A Beaconsfield councillor, she sports the extraordinary dynamic coiffure of a mid-Eighties Thatcher (the sort of hair-do still worn by the Broxbourne's backbench battle-axe Marion Roe). This woman is power-haired; surely St Albans cannot but succumb? Young Charles Elphicke, the candidate in 2001 had decided not to have another stab much like Martin Taylor-Smith, Ludlow's former tribune and solid right-winger. Ludlow chose Philip Dunne over Sheila Gunn, John Major's former head of communications and former "friend" (nudge, nudge) of Steve Norris. The 43-year-old is chairman of the bookchain Ottakers and a high profile local councillor. The Snake is all a quiver. Is Mr Dunne the blade that tripped the light fantastic an eon ago with Diana, Princess of Wales, causing a ripple of excitement in the gossip columns? Ah, the glamour of it! Let us hope so. He would also be the first Old Etonian (and a son of a Lord Lieutenant, t'boot) selected too. At the other end of the social register Lee Scott (Waveney, 2001) trots in at Ilford South, ahead of Gary Johnson, a finalist at Hornchurch. A Redbridge councillor and alumni of Clarkes College in Ilford, Mr Scott follows on from the gut rightwinger Vivian Bendall in terms of both his no nonsense politics and his Jewishness.
I will reveal two shortlists too this week, so you too can have a go at guessing whom the Hasbro carpet casino of life (bought at the Church jumble sale for fifty pee) that is the selection round will throw up. In Wellingborough, Peter Bone, its candidate in 2001, is hoping to prevail. A solid (I like that word) and forthright right-winger who — pleasingly — was dubbed 'Britain's meanest boss' because of his opposition to the minimum wage, the fifty-year-old holiday-firm owner is unlikely to temper his views to accord with the vote-losing nostrums of caring conservatism. Up against him are Jimmy James (Clwyd W, 2001 and the 1996 by-election rout in Staffordshire SE), another fifty-year-old but from a different pedigree. Mr James said of El Caudillo: 'The thing about Portillo is that he is in touch with the views and aspirations of ordinary people'. Oh dear but in his favour he is a cheery and charming army-major turned consultant, educated at Marlborough College and Sandhurst. Ominously for Mr Bone he was deputy chairman of the local association in 1998-99. Also fighting for the nomination is Charles Walker (Ealing N, 2001), 35, a company director who is married to a former secretary of IDS and was a finalist at Dorset South. Last but not least in our happy band is Ali Muraj, who I assume is an Asian chap or a Portillista taking his inclusive views to their logical conclusion. Hirsute self-publicist Douglas Carswell, Penny Mordaunt and Graham Stuart all fell at the previous hurdle.
Shrewsbury & Atcham has an open battle too after Anthea Mcintyre, the candidate in 2001, was knocked out in an earlier round: she had become unpopular for a variety of reasons, personal and political. Peter Holt, a local man and scion of an engineering firm is one hopeful. He is up against Caroline Mosley (Warrington S 2001) — described to me as 'heavily pregnant'. I'm not saying that as a criticism, it's what women do. If I'm wrong hearty apologies — for the record, an ambitious 30-year-old Portillo-supporter. Daniel Kawczynski (Ealing, Southall 2001) is a sub-editor's nightmare. The 31 year-old fled Warsaw with his parents back in 1983. The fourth is unknown Robert Lancaster. Those who failed at earlier stages include splendid literary critic manque Christopher Pincher, Giles English-Jones and council group leader Peter Nutting.
Bad news has come my way from Twickenham. The association was supposed to select this month but not enough possibles came forward so judgment day has been postponed. And as you know even better than me, there's more where that came from.
— The Snake
PS I still haven't heard a convincing answer to my teaser from last week, indeed your answers have thus far raised even more questions. Keep trying.
selected Tory PPCs
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CandidateWatch, October 27, 2002 11:58 PM